


Go Fuck Yourself

by Le_purple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Clones, Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Dream Bubbles (Homestuck), F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Time Shenanigans, rose lalonde (mentioned) - Freeform, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25000390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_purple/pseuds/Le_purple
Summary: Dave and Aradia go to a nightclub in a dream bubble full of their time-clones.
Relationships: Aradia Megido & Dave Strider, Aradia Megido/Aradia Megido, Aradia Megido/Dave Strider
Kudos: 13





	Go Fuck Yourself

The floor of the dream bubble throbbed from the ever-present bass music, the entire bubble converted into a sort of eternal nightclub for the residents. Of course there were the usual inhabitants of dancestors from varying timelines, but that particular dream bubble attracted a very specific audience; Aradia and Dave's army of time-clones.

Aradia handed two tabs to the pair sitting at the bar, moving over to get the apple juices for the gaggle of Dave's that were waiting. They casually clinked cans before cracking them open and chugged a few gulps.

"Once you peel off the layers of fucking bizarre on this infinite onion of time-fuckery, it's not that bad. Once you peel back the layers I mean, I'm like half-way to the reeking self-cest centre and honestly we are reaching levels of narcissistic surrealism I didn't even know were possible, like this shit is so off the charts we had to make a new chart just so it could go off of that one too. Rose would have a psychoanalysis field day here."

"I think she's too busy having a sloppy makeout with those Aradia's over there." Aradia commented, gesturing to a booth where a Rose was with at least 3 Aradia's and 2 Aradiabots indeed having a soppy makeout.

"Huh..." Dave acknowledged, sipping his tab. "Not something I thought I'd see a version of my ectosister do, but you learn something everyday I guess. mean fuck, they don't even serve booze here she's probably doing that entirely sober."

"Wow they're really going at it, is this normal here?"

"Why are you still looking? I can get a camera if you want some more of that prime fap material, like some xeno version of Blacked, only instead starring ghost aliens, robot ghost aliens, and a version of my ectosister, who's also a ghost. Where's the sburb version of Brazzers when you need them?"

"If I wanted to fill a pail with your ectosister I'd be joining the others over there, why settle for crappy pornography?"

"Hey, I don't know, but sometimes you only need to use a hand and some Vaseline to get your kicks, and sometimes also porn starring alternate versions of yourself."

"I wonder if you can get that kind of stuff here..."

"When I tell you to go fuck yourself this is never, and I repeat _never_ what I mean."

"You're such a wriggler, Dave, you'd do it too. Look, there are even versions of you who are doing it _right now._ "

She drew his attention to the vast number of other Dave's in the bubble. Of course there were a couple DJing interchangeably and managing the strobe lights which were just Aradiabots changing the glow of their lights, most of them dancing and talking to other versions of Dave and Aradia or any other ghost that would listen. Quite a few of them were not so subtly flirting with each other under the guise of irony, and some of them took that irony further and were even kissing, whether it be on the dance floor, in a booth or at a table, or anywhere else the seemingly infinite sea of Dave's found themselves.

"Holy fuck. Does this count as masturbation? What are even the logistics of this? But seriously is no one else as weird-ed out as me, like I said there's no booze here so the other me's are just...." Dave took another sip, thankful for his shades hiding his eyes.

"Woah, she's cute." Aradia gushed, looking over at a particular Aradia a few bar-stools away.

"Aradia she's literally you but in a fedora."

"What can I say, she wears it well."

"Oh my god." He sighed "Do-do you want me to be your wingman or something? Do you even need a wingman? She's literally you!"

"You can be my wingman if you want. I don't want to ditch you just to flirt with...myself."

"Fuck it, flirt with her...you, I'll hang back and fuck my own time-clones, hell maybe I'll get extra spicy and fuck yours too! I swear this place is going to break my mind."

"If it makes you feel better it seems like there's a feelingsjam area where the other Dave's having mental breakdowns are, its near the vending machine, I think they're playing your human version of Fiduspawn. Maybe you can fuck them like you said once you're feeling comfortable?"

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea, I'll chill with them. Have fun fucking yourself." Dave said, grabbing his can of tab and starting to make his way through the crowded dance floor over to the Dave Corner.

"I will!" She returned, smiling wide at him before heading over to flirt with the Aradia sitting a few seats away.


End file.
